Trick-or-Treat
by Numbuh Phenon
Summary: Two KND Halloween tales. One's a trick, and the other's a treat.
1. Trick

He glared.

She smirked.

He opened his mouth to speak.

She pulled back her leg and kicked.

Steve collapsed as the girl jumped away. He crumbled to the ground, his hands flying to hold his knee. "Virginia, _I swear to_ —"

"Eat it, lame-o!" the girl laughed.

Then, in a move befitting any awesome Kids Next Door agent, Virginia pulled off a triple-double-helix-one-handed backflip — with _flourish —_ onto the stage. Not even a second after landing, she kicked away the mic-prop, the microphone spinning free from its stand right into her hand.

Chad stumbled out from back stage, glitter coating him in places he didn't even know he had. Before he could question pivotal life decisions that got him to this disaster, the blur of Numbuh Twenty-Three came at him like a whirlwind.

The wild crackle of the brat echoed around him. He shot his hands out, hoping to catch her, yet that was about as effective as one would imagine. Chad's face contorted as it became harder to move.

It wasn't long before he felt completely constricted, which was completely in line with Numbuh Twenty-Three's completely over-the-top scheme.

Virginia's feet connected with Chad's back, sending him toppling over. The traitorous teen hit the stage, his body entwined by the wire of the microphone Virginia clenched in her hand. The child stomped her heel between his shoulder blades, the boy grimacing as she gave the cord a sharp tug.

"Enjoy the front row seat, pretty boy," she said. Then, with a flip of her finger, the microphone screeched to life.

Bartie's hand sprang out from below, grasping the edge of the stage as he gingerly pulled himself up. His upper body appeared over the side, his face sheen with sweat, and before he could recover, the ever-lively bane-of-his-existence screamed into the mic.

"HIT IT, NUMBUH 4!"

The lights of the gym went dark, a single spotlight shining down on Wally whom was on the other side of the stage.

Upon hearing his cue, the boy reached behind his back to grab the heel of his right leg.

Bartie watched in pure amazement as Numbuh Four pulled his leg up and broke in some foreign interpretive dance as his body awkwardly jerked forward. "Is this part of the plan?"

Virginia slammed to the ground in front of him, Bartie surprisingly unfazed even as she dragged Chad along with her. "Totally. You got the thing ready, right?"

Bartie answered with a thumbs-up.

At that moment, an explosion from the cheap-seats caught their attention, and despite the days of planning and studying crayon schematics for this stunt, the two children couldn't suppress the shutter that jolted through them as the blindingly furious mass that was The Steve loomed over them.

" _You_ ," Steve snarled, his jacket coiling around his body and encasing him in his battle-armor-suit. "I am going to _eviscerate_ you."

Wally, meanwhile, continued his dance uninterrupted as he jerked closer to center-stage.

" _Ooooh_ , The Man-wannabe is using _big_ words. I'm _so_ beyond freaked," Virginia snickered. She then leaned towards Bartie and whispered, "Hey, what's eviscerate mean?"

Bartie could only shrug.

"You think this is some stupid joke—Chad?" Steve spluttered, finally noticing the blond boy tied up and covered in glitter. "What the heck are you doing?"

"Nothing much, sir. Hanging out, wishing I were dead," the boy grumbled as he stared listlessly out into the empty gym. "The usual."

Steve rolled his eyes, his gauntlets sizzling with energy as he aimed both towards Virginia and Bartie respectively.

That was when Wally decided to appear, his odd dance bringing him between Steve and the others. The self-proclaimed king of teen cool arched a brow as the runt of sector V slowly turned on him. Attention now on him, Wally gave one final jerk, his dance complete.

He then released his leg, the power of interpretative dance coursing through his foot as he kicked.

Steve yelped and held his knee again while Wally retreated. "STOP KICKING ME IN THE SHIN!"

Virginia leapt forward, her hands grabbing onto Steve's shoulders to flip herself onto his back. With a battle-cry, she slammed her fist onto his back, activating his jets.

Steve paused in his whining to notice his rockets where whirring to life and screamed as he and his brat of a passenger were taken skyward.

"Do the thing, man!" Virginia yelled towards Bartie as she was pulled towards the heavens. "The _thiiiiiing_!"

Bartie wryly saluted, then let go of the stage to fall back below.

Chad, for his part, had checked out of this nonsense several minutes ago. As he contemplated what blunt instrument would best erase his memory of this day, he felt a tug at his leg. He looked back in time to see the cord of the mic being pulled into the air. As he realized what was going on, he spewed forth a volley of curses as he was dragged into the air.

Meanwhile, Steve heaved and ranted as he tried to pry Virginia from his back. The child ignored him, ducking every so often to avoid a laser blast as she continued to tinker with his armor's internal systems.

"Nice," she said, a smug look of victory spreading across her face. She then leaned forward, gently plucking his shades from his face before winking. "This is gonna be sweet, dude."

And with that, she jumped from his back, donning The Steve's shades as she fell to the chairs below.

When his sunglasses were removed, Steve felt as if he was freed from an inhibitor of rage. Before he could explode into a fury induced rant, his face smacked into the ceiling.

Below, Bartie lifted himself into a seat, dragging his arm across his face as he released a breath of exhaustion. He settled comfortably into his seat, glancing to his right as Virginia landed into the adjacent chair. The girl adjusted her newly acquired eyewear with a smirk and kicked her feet up on the seats in front of her.

The two kids watched as Steve fell from the ceiling, Bartie adding a whistling effect for the heck of it. As he hit the ground, Virginia added her own SPLAT effect, never one to be outdone in the silly department.

Steve, for his part, simply laid there. Soaking in his embarrassment and allowing his anger to stew. He then began to ascend, body quivering and teeth grinding togehter. He spotted Numbuhs Twenty-Three and Thirty-Five out in the back row.

Sinister nothings whispered in his ears as he charged his laser, intent on bringing the entire building down on the brats.

In response to the teen's unspoken threat, Bartie clapped his hands and did the thing.

Spotlights blared to life, all shining upwards, and Steve blinked as the stage was painted in an array of glittering lights akin to an effect that reminded him of a disco ball. The bewildered leader of all teens looked up, stunned to see a disgruntled Chad gently spinning from the mic-cord, the spotlights reflecting off him in a dazzling display.

While the teen was distracted, again, Virginia crowned her masterpiece as she pulled out a shoddy looking remote and aimed it towards the stage.

Onstage, Steve's battle-armor twisted as several straps snapped into place. He yelped as static danced across him and his internal system went haywire as the code re-wrote itself.

He then went stock still, and found that despite all his wiggling, he could not move as his armor tightened around him.

Bartie used his hands to muffle his laughs while Virginia pressed another switch.

 _YOU CAN DANCE!_

 _YOU CAN JIVE!_

 _HAVING THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE!_

Steve's eyes widened in horror…

…while Virginia's narrowed in satisfaction.

With a snap of her fingers, Numbuh Twenty-Three watched on gleefully as the image of Steve's armor making him dance against his will filtered across the lens of her sunglasses.

 _Ooooh,_

 _SEE THAT GIRL!_

 _WATCH THAT SCENE!_

 _DIGGIN' THE DANCING QUEEN!_

Bartie could no longer contain himself. The poor boy broke out in a fit of belly-aching laughs, they only being drowned out by the music booming out over the speaker system. He held his side as he fell from his seat, and Virginia chuckled herself as she gave a mocking round of applause.

"Shake it, dude, shake it," she called out. She lowered her shades, glancing off to the boy coming back on stage for his encore. "Thanks for the assist, Numbuh 4. I so owe you one!"

Wally slid on his knees across the stage, coming to a stop just short of Steve. The boy's face was a mask of professionalism befitting an expert prankster. He held his hands in the air, shaking them lightly and basking in the glittering lights.

Steve let loose a series of threats and insults, but could do little but bark as his body was forced to slave away to the beat. Virginia cupped her hands behind her head and Bartie slowly got back into his seat as his laughs died down to mere giggles.

A set of bodies moved out from the shadows of the auditorium, making themselves known.

Bartie sat a bit more rigid as Numbuh Three-Sixty-Two herself and other various high-ranking officials appeared. The young Supreme Leader watched the events onstage with an impassive stare, all while lightly munching on popcorn.

Behind her, the various flunkies and note-takers appeared a bit more critical as they analyzed the performance and scribbled furiously in their notebooks.

Virginia kicked herself out of her seat, taking off Steve's sunglasses and presenting them to her Supreme Leaderness as some sort of trophy.

"So," Virginia said, waiting anxiously for Rachel's words. "What'cha think?"

Rachel continued to silently munch on her popcorn, all kids stopping what they were doing to gauge her reaction. She rolled the shades between her fingers, then held them up to the disco-light to inspect them. After a long minute, she turned to the staff behind her and gave a curt nod.

They murmured at her approval. After a moment, once some final notes and scribbles were made, they held up various signs with numbers. The scores averaged from 8s to 9s, with even a few 10s sprinkled in.

Virginia broke into a fist-pump, more than pleased with her results. "Suh- _weet_!"

"Ah, it's just a load of rookie luck." Patton broke through the crowd of judges, looking indignant as he marched up to Virginia. "MY sooper amazing Halloween Trick is gonna blow your amateur hour stunt outta the water!"

Virginia merely dusted her hands. "Uh, big ol' _as if_ to that, sir. Only thing that's gonna blow is your Trick when it's compared to mine."

"Nu-uh!"

"Yeah-huh!"

Within a matter of seconds, Virginia and Patton broke into bickering; Bartie and Rachel rolling their eyes while the judges behind them began scribbling and murmuring.

* * *

 **Credits:**

 **"Dancing Queen"-ABBA**


	2. Treat

Changing is hard.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!"

Like, really hard.

"NOBODY STEALS FROM ME! NOBODY!"

It's because old habits are hard—so very hard—to quit. There was a healthy amount of challenge to it all.

"TAKE _THIS_!"

But challenge, Henrietta mused, made things so much sweeter.

Henrietta fell into a roll, narrowly avoiding the blast of fluoride. She cradled her prize in her arms and picked up into a run. The run then grew into a sprint as a barrage of toothpaste splattered at her heels.

Some losers did not know when to quit.

Knightbrace growled from his dental chair, the seat having been morphed into a walking dental hygienists' fantasy dream and a kid's worst nightmare. His hands flew across various buttons and levers, his machine acting in kind by firing floss lassos and homing tooth-pick missiles at the current cause of his ire.

Henrietta, for her part, wasn't the least bit concerned. She threw her shrouded object into the air, flipped feet first through the tangling floss, and spun on her heel with a style that would make any ballerina green with envy. The tooth picks plinked and shattered against the ground, missing her by a wide-shot.

The candy hunter tipped her hat kindly as the assault ended, then rose her hand to catch her package before making a break to the upcoming bridge.

From his seat, Knightbrace roared as a silo of mouth wash sprung from the back of his chair. "Oh no you don't!"

Mouth wash exploded from the canon. The streams flowed together to form a torrent that spewed over Henrietta's head and collided with the bridge. The concentrated acidity of the liquid beat against the frail material, and the bridge soon dissolved into nothing as planks and pieces fell to the pit below.

Henrietta skidded to an awkward stop just short of the bridge's edges, loose pebbles and debris being kicked down into a chasm below. She frowned, her free hand nestling against her hip as her boot tapped impatiently against the ground. Such a tricky situation she found herself in. Those lesser would claim she was losing her touch.

She scoffed at the notion.

The haughty laughter from behind drew her back to the present moment. With a look of wry interest, Henrietta peaked over her shoulder to see Knightbrace stalking forward, his wide grin spread to unnatural proportions on account of his mouth guard.

"End of the line," he said, the menace of his words dampened by his saliva filled lisp. "There's no way I'm letting you escape."

"Ugh," Henrietta gagged, using her hand to fan her face. "Perhaps you should have saved the mouth wash for yourself? Your breath—ack! —so stinky."

Knightbrace blinked, cupping a hand to his mouth to gauge his odor. After a few cautious sniffs, his face scrunched with repulsion. "It's only because I had to skip my evening brush to hunt you down!"

"I must say, Knightbrace, I find myself impressed," Henrietta said coyly as she uncurled the cloth of her package.

The candy hunter held within her hand a glimmering pumpkin-shaped lollipop made of pure, crystallized sugar. The radiance of the gum-encrusted treat shone under the moonlight, and the stick crafted from the finest sugarcane was foretold to be so smooth to the touch that Henrietta felt it a travesty she had to wait to feel the texture with her ungloved fingers.

"The fact that you of all people would covet the prized _Jack-o-Lollipop_ ," she said, her voice adopting a tone of reverence as she awed the candy as if in a deep trance. "Such tastes must be respected, even those of ein dummy-head like you."

"Don't make me laugh," the villain rebuffed. "I only stole that hunk of junk food from the Candy Bank so I could destroy it in front of all those snot-nosed trick-or-treaters! One less cavity inducing rock in the world is one less treat kids can enjoy and one more victory for me; the Enamel Avenger, Knightbrace!"

As dental-school reject descended into a fit of maniacal laughter, Henrietta broke from her daydream and felt herself go ill at the thought of Knightbrace's blasphemy. "The insanity! You would rob the world ofsuch a treasure?"

"That's the plan. Now give it back before I rip out the rest of your baby-teeth," he growled, the drills extensions of his chair rising. "I can't have you going off and sharing it like some goody-two-shoes."

"Me? Share?" Henrietta laughed, using the reprieve to adjust her monocle. "I think there has been, how you say, a misunderstanding. For you see, only _I_ could ever truly appreciate such a treat. Other children wouldn't know how to handle themselves in the mere presence of a candy of this caliber."

"Like I care! I won't let any brat ruin their teeth with that trash; not even one!" Knightbrace raved as he fiddled with his panel, the weapons of his machine coiling closer to the girl. "Now, any last words before I reap justice upon your incisors?"

In response to his threat, Henrietta merely stepped back into the chasm. "Auf Wiedersehen."

Knightbrace dumbly watched as the girl dropped off the bridge. Well, he was certainly not expecting that to happen. The little urchins normally put up more resilience than that. A pang of disappointment hit him hard. He was so looking forward to scrapping her gums while she struggled. Where was the fun if they just did themselves in?

His walker lurched forward and he leaned over to peer into a chasm. He might as well confirm the candy shattered in the fall.

He flinched as a whip of taffy sprang up from below, wrapping itself around one of the protrusions of his walker. The whip went taut, then shook with a _boing_ as Henrietta shot up from the depths. She winked at her pursuer's flabbergasted expression then used her forward momentum to sling-shot herself across the bridge gap.

Her combat boots clattered against the ground, and she shot up to hold the _Jack-o-Lollipop_ high in the air as sign of her victory.

Henrietta clipped her whip back to her belt, then offered a glance back towards Knightbrace. After a mocking wave and one well-earned raspberry, she would be on her way. But as she looked to the opposite side of the bridge, she was a bit shocked to find the villain nowhere to be seen.

The ground behind her rumbled as something landed. The tremulous impact sent her falling to the ground as dust rose around her, and she scurried to her knees to turn and see Knightbrace glaring from on high.

"You really thought it'd be that easy?" he said with a condescending sneer. He leered forward, a series of canons, drills, and dental scalpers popping forth from every nook and cranny of his walker. "This is your last chance."

Henrietta gulped, but held on to the _Jack-o-Lollipop_ in one last act of defiance.

"Suit yourself," he said with a shrug. He then laughed into the night as his equipment reared back for the charge. "Now open wide!"

There were a multitude of things Henrietta expected next.

A forcible flossing, a brushing by brittle bristles, a gagging rinse of mouth-wash that burned sensitive taste-buds; there were a scary amount of possibilities. Knightbrace was a creative sort, and that never bode well for anyone, especially for kids of her reputation.

Yet despite all that, Henrietta can honestly say that she did not expect Knightbrace to be broadsided by a massive gum-wad.

The girl watched as Knightbrace was hurtled towards the tree line, the force of his impact knocking over several oaks before his walker exploded under stress. The man was left groaning in a pile of gum and pain, but Henrietta ignored him in favor of taking her unlikely saviors.

The earth once again rumbled as the overwhelming might of the _Sweet Revenge_ bulldozed to port. Once it peaked the chasm where the bridge once stood, a candy-cane anchor fell and dug into the dirt while a gangplank dropped allowing the landing party ashore.

Henrietta's eyes widened as the lumbering form of Stickybeard hobbled towards her, surrounded by his sugar-loving crew. The entourage walked into the field, the lead pirate himself seemingly oblivious to her as he gave the pathetic mess that was Knightbrace a sneer of disgust.

"Ya done gone and done it now, _Jelly_ ," Stickybeard quipped with a gravely tone as the source of his disdain stood. "Halloween is MY night, and seeing your pathetic face out and about drives my mood something sour."

"Oh, you're one to talk, you plaque ridden man-child," Knightbrace growled, though it was lacking bite now that he was severely unarmed. "Of course you'd play dirty and shoot when I'm not paying attention!"

"I'm a pirate. Since when do I play fair?" he said with a grin. His men around him murmured with chuckles but silenced themselves when Stickybeard's expression turned stern. "Now ye best be beating it 'fore I get angry."

"You'll get yours, Stickybeard," Knightbrace fumed. "I swear, the day will come when I finally strap you down in my chair and brush your teeth so hard that the only thing you'll ever taste afterwards is mint!"

Stickybeard let out a sad "yar" as he put his candy-cane hook to his heart. "Man's done gone and hurt me feelings. Would ye mind doing something about that, lads?"

At his order, the pirates around him darkly grinned as they brandished their swords and slings. Knightbrace whimpered before making a break for the woods, a horde of angry cavity-ridden pirates hot on his tail.

Henrietta cautiously stood to her feet as her attacker fled into the night. Her moment of peace was jostled as Stickybeard let loose a hearty laugh and wobbled in her direction.

"Well sour me gumdrops, if ain't little Heiny," Stickybeard greeted in a roguishly eloquent growl that seemed to suit him. "Must be a trick of fate, you being the first urchin ol' Stickybeard comes upon tonight."

Henrietta offered a neutral expression as she properly composed herself. "Indeed. Though I suppose I am no stranger to fate and its tricks."

At those words, Stickybeard used his good eye to give the girl a once over. "Seems like ye've settled yer caramel affairs."

"Ja, I have," she replied tersely. It was obvious that bit of business was one she'd rather not expand on, and Stickybeard fortunately noted the hint. She shook her head and opted to switch topics. "I must say, your little rescue was a surprise."

Stickybeard offered a wry rise of his brow. "That'd a funny way of thanking a man."

"I did not say it was an unwelcome surprise."

"Stickybeard's just teasing ya, lass. If I were to be honest, I just caught a whiff of toothpaste on the breeze, and I _knew_ what that meant," he said, his voice dripping to a guttural low as Knightbrace entered his thoughts. "Ain't a rotten dog I can't stand less than Jelly. Man's an affront to all things sweet, he is!"

Henrietta could only nod in agreement.

"Though I'd be mighty curious as to why he was after…" he trailed off as he caught sight of the candy within Henrietta's hand. His eye widened as drool leaked from the corner of his mouth. "The _Jack-o-Lollipop_."

Upon realizing she was practically displaying it in the open, Henrietta hid the _Jack-o-Lollipop_ behind her back with a hasty laugh. "Ah, what? This old thing?"

"No wonder Jelly was hot on yer tail," he said, stepping forward with a hungry grin. His hand crept to his sword, and his visage loomed over the girl as something twinkled in his eye. "But now what's to stop ol' Stickybeard from taking such a treat for himself?"

The question hung in the air, and Henrietta shifted her eyes and said, "Finders keepers?"

There was a tense silence in the air, the two staring at one another. Each waiting for the first move.

After a moment, Stickybeard burst with laughter and Henrietta found herself oddly at ease for the first time in a while.

"I suppose ye got me there!" he howled, using the sleeve of his coat to wipe at his mouth. "Be sure to take it slow, lass. Tis a waste to gobble up such fine candy without savoring it."

"Ja," Henrietta said softly to herself. She looked up to the man again, feeling an awkward sense of comfort she had not known in many years.

Memories spilled forth of their own accord. Days of yore spent serving under the very same swashbuckler, their crew taking candy as they pleased and the man unknowingly teaching her better ways of prying her trade.

Then thoughts wandered to more recent affairs, the memory of him appearing before Black John in her dire hour of crisis was hard to suppress.

And then there was the whole deal with Knightbrace just now…

She snorted. She was going soft.

And she knew exactly _whom_ to blame for that.

Stickybeard blinked as Henrietta chipped off a piece of fabled _Jack-o-Lollipop_ and extended her hand. "What be this?"

"What do you think?" she grumbled, her offering out in the open for all who cared to see. "Consider it a debt repaid."

The man bashfully scratched at his beard, a warm feeling tickling his candy-coated heart. He then narrowed his eyes as he summed up the offering. "It's a bit on a small side."

"Fine! If you don't want it—"

"Now don't go putting words in Stickybeard's mouth," he said as he snatched up the piece. Without further ado, he popped it onto his tongue and hummed happily as he began to suckle. " _Ooooh_ , pumpkin spice!"

Henrietta smirked as she finally allowed herself a lick of the lollipop. "Now what was that about gobbling up candy?"

"Yarr, yer one to talk," he said with a knowing wag of his finger. "Henrietta Von Marzipan sharing candy? If I didn't know any better, I'd say a mutual acquaintance of ours is rubbing off on ye."

Not for the first time tonight, Henrietta's thoughts wondered towards a certain member of sector V and her cheeks reddened ever so subtly as she brushed it all off with a scoff. "I am capable of making my own decisions, thank you."

"Oh, then why don't ye prove it? Me and the boys are roundin' up for our yearly Halloween voyage," he said, making a show of unleashing his sword and swinging it grandiosely. "We'll plunder the seven suburbs and be the scourge of the streets; filling our horde with candy, and eating ourselves silly 'til Thanksgiving!"

Henrietta mused to herself, tapping her chin as the notion enticed her.

"There's always room for one more, and we'll be setting sail jus' like old times," Stickybeard finished, turning his blade and offering the hilt towards Henrietta. "I'd understand either way. But if ye forgive me for being dramatic, are ye in, or are ye too old to be carousing with Stickybeard?"

The ball-candy-cane hilt of Stickybeard's blade was leveled her way, it carrying an offer of a lifetime. As she weighed her options, Henrietta couldn't help but muse to herself. The chance was fun, but it would come at the cost of indulging in old habits…

As she later donned her pirate attire, letting the breeze flow through her hair and allowing herself hearty laughs alongside Stickybeard and his men, she supposed that, for one night, she could claim that old habits die hard.

* * *

 **Decided to post these here too because they're long enough that I figure why not.**

 **Happy Halloween~**


End file.
